Signs of an online dating predator
But we must credit the killers with the ability to hide their secrets and perfect their acting skills.
As predators get away with their acts, they learn the best ways to deflect others from discovering their secrets, and they enjoy the lack of accountability.
“I'm always struck by how, after some act of violence, fraud, or sexual abuse, everyone laments: 'Someone must have known! ' And yet, time after time, it seems those who are in a position to see are sidelined, discredited, or disbelieved.'”My sense of it is this: People who can spot predators are ignored for reasons similar to those that blind many people to these offenders in the first place—distortion and denial.
Predators count on it, especially in those rare times when someone is savvy enough to spot them and try to alert others.
They can charm and manipulate others for their own gain, conning with no regard for anyone's feelings.
“Eyeball Killer” Charles Albright had a master’s degree, knew several languages, was a former science teacher, and had a seemingly satisfying marriage.
The fact is, we're often just not prepared to accept that evil can get so close to us.
As frustrating as it can be for those whose warnings fall on deaf ears, it’s normal to interpret the behavior of those we know in the most benign and ordinary frame.
We want to spot them, but they usually spot us first. Lionel Dahmer, Jeffrey Dahmer’s father, wrote a book after watching his son’s 1992 trial for the murder of 17 men and realized that the manner in which he'd interpreted Jeffrey’s behavior had been naïve, influenced by his personal fears.
"I allowed myself to believe Jeff,” Lionel mused, “…to accept all his answers regardless of how implausible they might seem….